Mr. Jordan on the First Day of Class

Now that I'm adept at Cambridge urban slang (see previous post) . . .

MR. JORDAN: Yo yo, what's poppin' slimes? What's good? I'm Mr. Jordan, and this English class is gonna be mad hard but mad fun. Just so you know, I do get aggy when my students act like sherms and turn in work late. So make sure you swing me your assignments on time so I can peep them right away. You'll need to go ham on my tests, and just so you don't get completely salted, make sure you study mad amounts and dog it out. If I rash you on some of your papers, it's only because I want you to be a better writer. More than anything, when you dip from this class I want you to be good with language . . . so next time you see a dime and want to spit g's at that shorty, you'll have a facility for more poetic, creative ways of speaking.

STUDENTS: On dogs Mr. J, on dogs. (Then turning to each other and murmuring to themselves) I feel like I'm really connecting to this teacher. He is speaking our language, the language of our urban upbringing.