Well, the honeymoon is over. When I hit Cambridge, I was in a fantasy of sorts . . . or maybe a pleasure vacation that didn't seem to have an ending. All I knew is that I didn't have the burdens of teaching, I could go out on a Tuesday night and I had a lot of reading and writing and thinking to do but I'd enjoy it all. And for 8 months or so, I pretended that was all that was happening to me . . . all that would ever happen to me.
But today was the last day of classes. I've got a paper due tomorrow, another one due on May 5th, and then my last one due May 6th. And then that's IT.
So, unavoidably, I have to think about what I'm doing next year. And I have no idea. At all.
Which makes me think back to my very first weekend in Cambridge. My parents and I had driven out in my minivan and a moving truck. After we got all my stuff into my new place, we headed out for a goodbye lunch at Veggie Planet, a local restaurant that serves a stellar peanut/broccoli/coconut rice dish.
As my father, mother, and I sat and ate, my parents started in on me.
"So, what will you do after this year?"
"Um, I don't know."
"You gave up your teaching job in Mundelein, didn't you."
"Um, well, yes."
"A job with tenure, that paid you well, with benefits, and with a good pension."
"Yep."
"And now you gave it up to get a second master's, one that you don't functionally need."
"I guess so."
"So what will you do after this?"
"I don't know."
"Does this master's give you any new job opportunities?"
"I'm not sure."
"Are you thinking about your employment beyond this yet?"
"Not really, not yet."
"You know you can't count on us to support you. You're 38 years old.
"I know."
"Do you know what you're doing?
"I'm not really thinking that far ahead, I guess."
The rest of the lunch went on like this. When we were done, we walked out of the restaurant, and AT THAT EXACT MOMENT, walking right by us, was a homeless man who had his stuff in a Harvard Graduate School of Education bag. You couldn't have scripted it any better.
My mother, without missing a beat, said "That'll be you in 9 months."
Well, now it's nine months later, and I have a debt and no real job prospects.
We'll have to see if my mother was right.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Forgetting
I'm going through a period where I'm forgetting everything. Has that ever happened to you? For the past month or so, I've forgotten to zip my fly about 50% of the time.
Or how about this: you sit down to send an email, and the entire purpose of the email is to attach a document. And then you send the email, but you've forgotten to attach the document.
I do that about 80% of the time.
A few times a year I will think there's 60 cents in a dollar (I suppose because there's 60 minutes in an hour). I'll look down at the coins in my hand, see that there's 59 cents, and then think to myself "Whoa! Only one penny short of a whole dollar!"
When I used to smoke and play darts in college, inevitably I'd throw the cigarette at the board, and put the dart in my mouth.
I think these would be called "senior moments," if I was a senior. But I'm not. I think I'm middle-aged. Can you have "middle-age moments"?
Or how about this: you sit down to send an email, and the entire purpose of the email is to attach a document. And then you send the email, but you've forgotten to attach the document.
I do that about 80% of the time.
A few times a year I will think there's 60 cents in a dollar (I suppose because there's 60 minutes in an hour). I'll look down at the coins in my hand, see that there's 59 cents, and then think to myself "Whoa! Only one penny short of a whole dollar!"
When I used to smoke and play darts in college, inevitably I'd throw the cigarette at the board, and put the dart in my mouth.
I think these would be called "senior moments," if I was a senior. But I'm not. I think I'm middle-aged. Can you have "middle-age moments"?
Thursday, April 15, 2010
New Song for My Nephew
I wrote a song for my two-year old nephew, Theo.
Even though lyrics usually don't work as poetry, I'll post them anyway. If something doesn't work rhythmically, just imagine that it does when I'm singing it.
"Run Around"
Even though lyrics usually don't work as poetry, I'll post them anyway. If something doesn't work rhythmically, just imagine that it does when I'm singing it.
"Run Around"
Glasses
Well, I now wear glasses. I got my first pair this morning. I've probably needed them for about 5 years, and I finally submitted.
Just a few thoughts:
1. Expensive! Mine cost $300. College students don't have that kind of money.
2. I predict I will lose my glasses within the next two months. I lose about 6 pairs of sunglasses in a year. This will not go well.
3. Damn it's a crisp and detailed world out there!
4. I can no longer mock the other members of my nuclear family who all need glasses. The last Jordan has fallen.
5. I may have been pushed into buying glasses when I read an article that claimed wearing glasses (if you need them) helps prevent Alzheimer's. That doesn't mean NOT wearing glasses CAUSES Alzheimer's, but rather that wearing glasses and being able to see the world helps prevent the onset. Seeing a detailed world gives your brain a lot more to chew on, and that keeps your neurons alive and firing.
6. Now what do I do about sunglasses?
7. Do people still wear contacts?
8. Anytime I hear someone with a British accent, I always think they're smarter than they probably are. I hope people do the same with me when I'm wearing glasses.
9. What did people do before the invention of glasses? Just put up with a blurry world? Well, maybe not. Here's what I heard: before we invented glasses, those with blurry eyes would just die early. They would fall off a cliff, hit their head on a tree branch the didn't see, etc. And since they would die early they'd remove themselves from the gene pool and thus wouldn't pass on their substandard genetics. Those with great vision would still be alive, and they could birth some sharp-sighted babies. But then glasses get invented, so us poor-sighted folks stay alive, pass on our bad genes, and our collective eyesight just keeps getting worse and worse.
So my new glasses better save my damn life at some point, because I'm going to have to eat Ramen noodles for the next 3 months just to cover the cost.
Just a few thoughts:
1. Expensive! Mine cost $300. College students don't have that kind of money.
2. I predict I will lose my glasses within the next two months. I lose about 6 pairs of sunglasses in a year. This will not go well.
3. Damn it's a crisp and detailed world out there!
4. I can no longer mock the other members of my nuclear family who all need glasses. The last Jordan has fallen.
5. I may have been pushed into buying glasses when I read an article that claimed wearing glasses (if you need them) helps prevent Alzheimer's. That doesn't mean NOT wearing glasses CAUSES Alzheimer's, but rather that wearing glasses and being able to see the world helps prevent the onset. Seeing a detailed world gives your brain a lot more to chew on, and that keeps your neurons alive and firing.
6. Now what do I do about sunglasses?
7. Do people still wear contacts?
8. Anytime I hear someone with a British accent, I always think they're smarter than they probably are. I hope people do the same with me when I'm wearing glasses.
9. What did people do before the invention of glasses? Just put up with a blurry world? Well, maybe not. Here's what I heard: before we invented glasses, those with blurry eyes would just die early. They would fall off a cliff, hit their head on a tree branch the didn't see, etc. And since they would die early they'd remove themselves from the gene pool and thus wouldn't pass on their substandard genetics. Those with great vision would still be alive, and they could birth some sharp-sighted babies. But then glasses get invented, so us poor-sighted folks stay alive, pass on our bad genes, and our collective eyesight just keeps getting worse and worse.
So my new glasses better save my damn life at some point, because I'm going to have to eat Ramen noodles for the next 3 months just to cover the cost.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Walter Payton Poster
Why do I have a Walter Payton poster in my wall?
I suppose I put up the poster because I am now in Boston, and I have a LOT of Chicago pride when I'm in Chicago. I want to remember my roots, and brag to people that I come from a cooler city than they do.
And my friend Erin got me the poster for my birthday, so it's a reminder of her.
A bit more deeply,
For most of my childhood I had two heroes: Walter Payton and Mick Jagger. So this is definitely a reference/homage/recalling/calling up of my childhood. Why call up your childhood? Perhaps it was a more innocent time, a more pure time, and adulthood--for all it's advantages--is one messy affair. When I was running around outside as Walter Payton, or diving over the basement couch like he used to dive over defenders on fourth and inches, I had nothing else on my mind. I was free. Now, no matter what I am doing, I've always got a LOT of stuff in my head . . . my job, relationships, money, what the future will bring, etc. I carry around a lot more, I'm a lot heavier, and that makes it a lot harder to jump over the Green Bay Packers defenders when it's fourth and goal, ball on the one yard line.
I suppose I put up the poster because I am now in Boston, and I have a LOT of Chicago pride when I'm in Chicago. I want to remember my roots, and brag to people that I come from a cooler city than they do.
And my friend Erin got me the poster for my birthday, so it's a reminder of her.
A bit more deeply,
For most of my childhood I had two heroes: Walter Payton and Mick Jagger. So this is definitely a reference/homage/recalling/calling up of my childhood. Why call up your childhood? Perhaps it was a more innocent time, a more pure time, and adulthood--for all it's advantages--is one messy affair. When I was running around outside as Walter Payton, or diving over the basement couch like he used to dive over defenders on fourth and inches, I had nothing else on my mind. I was free. Now, no matter what I am doing, I've always got a LOT of stuff in my head . . . my job, relationships, money, what the future will bring, etc. I carry around a lot more, I'm a lot heavier, and that makes it a lot harder to jump over the Green Bay Packers defenders when it's fourth and goal, ball on the one yard line.
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