Exchange with an Ex-Student

One of my ex-students just wrote me today. I taught him his junior year, and now he's a freshman at the University of MIssouri. Let's call him Byron. He wrote me one long paragraph, which I broke up and responded to step by step. Here it is:

BYRON: Mr. Jordan, I know it's been a while since we've talked, but i need to ask you a very important question.

MR. JORDAN: Byron, great to hear from you, and I'm honored you've asked for my advice. I'll go step by step through your email, using some fancy colors to distinguish your words from mine. That's right, I love technology, and technology loves me.

Ask me any questions, anytime. Get in touch anytime too. For years to come.

BYRON: I've been considering changing my major from Psychology to either Journalism or English, but something has been holding me back. I've always considered your opinion very highly, and I'm in desperate need for your most honest one.

MR. JORDAN: Honest it shall be. I promise.

BYRON: Going straight to it- I need to know if you think i have what it takes to make it in the writing world. I'm at Mizzou, the top Journalism school in the country, with all the credentials to make it into the J school. The thing that turns me off is how competitive it is. I don't want to waste 4 years of my life, paying thousands of dollars, for something that I might not make it in.

MR. JORDAN: O.K. Honest opinion: I don't think the question is whether you've got the intelligence or the chops. You do. The question is if you want to put in all the work, or if the work is worth it. A mediocre talent who works really, really hard will always make it before a mediocre worker with lots of talent will. Meaning hard, relentless work is the key. For example, I suppose the only real skill I have in the world (perhaps) is teaching. While it'd be nice to say I was born with some teaching talent, 99% of my success and acumen comes from the fact that I've done it every day, day after day, hour after hour, for 17 years. Now I always liked doing it, so it wasn't a drag to put in all those hours, but it was the work that was the key. I think that's the question you'll have to confront.

BYRON: I know you've read some of my best work, or the work I'm most proud of, and I really hope you remember it. I wrote one paper comparing an Animal Collective song to a Jackson Pollock painting. I'll never forget the comment you wrote on the rubric. right next to the 15/15 score i think it said something like, "This might be the best thing you'll write in High School."

MR. JORDAN: Yep, I remember the essay well, and I remember my comment. I meant it.

BYRON: At the time i was super stoked about the score I got, but the comment started to confuse me a little bit. To be honest, I still don't know what you really meant by it, or if I just misread the comment completely. Or if maybe you were just in the comment zone and you were writing that on everyone's paper. I would totally get that. But regardless, I really think your opinion will help me make a decision.

MR. JORDAN: More honesty (but in a good way). I think you were always a little hesitant to hear compliments about your work. I think in your last journal of Honors English 3 you mentioned that you weren't sure if you deserved the grade that you got from me--if I just handed it to you, etc. I'm not so sure your inquiries about your ability are/were what you're questioning though--I think you're toying with the idea of ACCEPTING that you really do have some ability. And the moment you accept that fact, you'd then have to start making some demands upon yourself. You'd realize that you have something you shouldn't squander--a responsibility to live up to your gifts. And to do so would mean (drum roll) . . . you'd need to really put in the time and hard work.

And working hard doesn't just mean doing what you feel like when you feel like it--it means putting in the time EXACTLY when you DON'T feel like it. Because only when you do can you really get somewhere.

I'm sure you've heard this (on occasion) before: Byron is very smart, but doesn't always get his work done. I think that's what you're wrestling with.

BYRON: I don't know if you read any of my journalistic stuff, but i wrote for the newspaper. I actually was the entertainment editor for a while. I feel like it might totally be my ideal style of writing; i'd rather be doing some kind of creative pieces, but i still feel like i could contribute in that world. So I ask that you please respond quickly, i hope my humble subject does it's job.

MR. JORDAN: Now that I'm very old (40, yes, I'm 40), it's become even more clear how short life is. And I'm astonished by just how much people squander the precious years of their lives. Usually they do it for security and money. So if you can say fuck easy security and fuck (lots of) money, then you can really go out and LIVE, you can go out and have a life that's as exciting as it should be (though all that hard work will still be there). When you get to be my age, you meet (and date) lots of people with lots of different careers. Do you know how boring most careers are and how boring they make you? What am I going to say to a trader? Someone who works in pharmaceuticals? Sales? All boring. Soooooo boring. Why are they so boring with boring jobs? Because they wanted to make money, and they traded in their souls and an interesting life to do so. But the person who doesn't mind scraping by and hanging by their fingernails from time to time, those people are damn interesting.

So you might want to ask yourself, what is jazzing you the most? What excites you the most? What would most make you wake up in the morning and say "fuck yeah, I get to live this day today." Might be a good place to start to get an answer.

And, you're young. People change majors all the time. And then they change careers. And then they have successful professional lives in areas that they never studied. So never, EVER think that this decision you might soon make is consigning you to one path. It will just create some options and possibilities for a bit, and then you can change them again if you want.

BYRON: If there's anything crazy/new/awesome that you'd like to share i'd be willing to hear it. How big of a Strokes fan are you? Hope to talk to you soon.

MR. JORDAN: Never really did the Strokes thing, don't know why. I'd take a listen if you think I should.

Since I moved out east I've seen some pretty great shows: Grizzly Bear, Pixies, Built to Spill. But even better, I've seen some killer comedians: Louis CK, Demetri Martin, David Cross, Patton Oswalt.

What about you? What have you been listening to?

Hope this email helps a bit. I really was sincere, and I hope it was more helpful/encouraging than harsh. And be complimented that I thought you were important enough and strong enough to hear it that way.

Write back!

Jordan